| Fresh
Writing: The Unexpected Response
by
Hal Croasmun
When
an audience thinks they know where you are going, it is an opportune
moment to surprise them with something unexpected.
One
of the formats for fresh writing is "The Unexpected Response."
This
is one of my favorite techniques when used correctly. The setup
sends our minds in one direction and then we get surprised by a
response that we would have never thought of...but it still fits
who that character is.
In
the Fresh and Edgy class, I present many "Fresh Formats."
The Unexpected Response is one of them. Today, we'll go over one
of three methods to create an Unexpected Response.
As
you read the example and my explanation, you need to keep an eye
on two things -- the setup and the unexpected response.
GO OPPOSITE
This
is actually an easy technique. You look at what would be the normal
response and go opposite of it. At the conclusion of this article,
I'll discuss what you need to watch out for when you go opposite,
but for now, take a look at this example...
...and
remember, we're simply looking to bring a fresh
experience to the writing with one of twenty "Fresh" techniques.
So this isn't the only way a person can add freshness to their writing.
Here's
an example:
From
SHREK -- Page 21
Shrek
has come home with Donkey (after meeting him for the first time)
and wakes up the next morning to discover that all of the Fairy-tale
creatures in the land have moved into his swamp.
Watch
the setup and then the unexpected response.
EXT.
SWAMP -- DAY
 PINOCCHIO
We were forced to come here.
SHREK
By who?
One of the THREE
LITTLE PIGS speaks up.
PIG
(German
accent)
Lord Farquaad! He huffed, und he
puffed, und he -- signed an eviction
notice.
His brothers
nod their agreement.
SHREK
Alright. Who knows where
this...Farquaad guy is?
The creatures
look dumbfounded. All except Donkey.
DONKEY
(hopping
up and down)
Oh, I do! I know where he is!
SHREK
Does anyone else know where to find
him? Anyone at all. Anyone?
Characters point
in different directions.
Donkey continues
to leap up into Shrek's P.O.V.
DONKEY
Me! Me! Oh! Pick me! Oh I know, I
know. Me, me.
SHREK
(sighs)
Okay, fine.
(yells)
Attention all...fairytale things!
The creatures
fall into an uneasy silence.
SHREK
Do not get comfortable. Your welcome
is officially worn out. In fact, I'm gonna see this guy Farquaad
right now, and get you all off my land and
back where you came from!
A beat.
CROWD
Yaaaayyyyyyy!
Like Munchkins
surrounding Dorothy, the fairy-tale
characters cheer and celebrate Shrek as their hero. Birds drape
the annoyed ogre in garlands. Shrek rolls his eyes.
SETUP:
Shrek says things like "Your welcome is officially worn out.
I'm going to...get you off my land..." He's throwing them out.
UNEXPECTED
RESPONSE:
But because he is also getting them their most important outcome,
they cheer him as a hero.
There
are two things you need to watch out for:
1. Going with an ineffective "opposite."
2. Not setting up the surprise properly.
The
simple structure below solves both of these.
STRUCTURE:
A. After writing a first draft of a scene, brainstorm possible
"opposite" responses a character could have.
Often,
this will generate great ideas that may seem impossible to fit into
the story. Imagine the writers saying "I want Shrek to say
something terrible and the response is that the Fairy-tale people
cheer him." Sounds crazy, doesn't it?
Don't
count out any "opposite" response until you have taken
the next step.
B. With each response you like, brainstorm a setup that could
make could make it work for the characters and the scene.
This
might require that you put in some padding. Notice that Shrek also
said...
SHREK
I'm gonna see this guy Farquaad right now, and get you all off
my land and back where you came from!
The
writers set it up to give the Fairy-tale creatures a reason to cheer
that makes total sense. Shrek just said he was going to solve their
biggest problem and he is big enough to do it.
Ultimately,
your job as a writer is to gather a whole set of techniques that
will have your writing stand out. Adding "Fresh" techniques
to your toolbox can provide a lot of extra entertainment and will
also cause producers to see you as an amazing writer they need to
hold onto.
This article
is copyright © by Hal Croasmun, and is reprinted with permission
from the author. Unauthorized duplication is a violation of international
copyright law.
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About
Hal
After 15 years developing Expert Modelling training programs
for Fortune 500 companies, HAL CROASMUN decided
it was time to turn his attention to his true passion — the
film industry. Hal is a writer/producer and founder of the ScriptforSale.com
website, where he has spent nearly five years developing a unique
Expert Model approach to screenwriting. It's called the Pro
Series, and is revolutionizing the Hollywood film industry.
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